Dear job,

Please stop sucking.

Thx.

Love,
Whitney

Hello, Stranger

Tons of stuff has happened since my last update. I've worked 30 hours since Monday (including 12 hours on Wednesday alone!). I've driven on the highway, in traffic, in the dark, and in the rain. I passed the typing test for the post office job, and my pre-employment orientation is scheduled for the 10th of July. I bought season one of The Odd Couple on DVD, Pretty Little Head by Nellie McKay, and a few books. And I've fallen in love with a new ice cream.

I'm so tired!!

Apartment Stuff

A while back, I took inventory of the stuff I've got for an apartment and made a list of things I still need. Since then, my collection has grown significantly--especially in the furniture department. So I figured I might as well make a new list, to see where I'm at now.

Things I Have:

• Bedroom furniture (twin-size mattress, boxed springs, bed frame & headboard, chest of drawers, nightstand, bookcase)
• Living room furniture (armchair, coffee table, 2 bookcases)
• Entertainment system-ish (big TV, DVD player, stereo)
• Rugs
• Computer & desk
• Folding table & chairs
• Kitchen stuff (dishes, mugs, silverware, santoku knife, cookie sheets, George Foreman grill, iced tea maker, microwave, wooden salad bowl, barware, colander, baking pans, etc.)
• Vacuum cleaner
• Towels, bedding, curtains
• Telephone w/ answering machine
• Iron
  

Things I Need:

• A set of cookware (pots & pans)
• Knives
• Blender
• Toaster
• Kitchen utensils (spatulas, mixing spoons, etc.)
• Drying rack for dishes
• Various other kitchen doodads
  
• Bathroom rug
• Ironing board
  
• End table for the living room

I think I'm pretty well set, actually. I'm really glad I've been buying apartment stuff for the past few years. It makes it a lot easier to move on such short notice, if I do get this job in Hutchinson. Speaking of the job, pleeeeeeeeeease cross your fingers for me!!

Striped Crew--In Progress

Orange Kimono Cardi

Knitting for Babies

Tonight I started knitting the first of three baby sweaters for which I just bought yarn. I'm using this yummy machine washable cashmere-blend stuff that I love. It's super-soft, never itchy, and did I mention machine washable? And, hello, cashmere!! Basically the perfect yarn. It's not even super expensive. Actually, cheaper than the organic cotton stuff called for in the patterns. Anyway, all three sweaters I'm knitting are from a book I recently bought, Natural Knits for Babies and Moms. Great book, adorable patterns (not to mention, adorable babies!!). Maybe it seems a little weird that I'm knitting baby sweaters...I'm not pregnant, I swear!! But sometimes I need a little break from knitting socks, and scarves and hats are boring. And anything else takes so much yarn and so much time.

Anyway, this first sweater is an adorable kimono-style which I'm knitting up with a lovely pumpkin-colored yarn. It's not quite as dark as I wish it would've been, but it looks nice anyway. Today I finished the back and both front pieces. All I've got left are the sleeves, seams, and edging (plus sewing on the little charcoal-gray buttons I got). I feel pretty confident that I'll finish it tomorrow, and then of course I'll post pictures.

The other two sweaters I'm knitting are a pale aqua- & dark teal-striped crewneck, and a gray cabled turtleneck. Lovely!!

FYI part trois

♪♪♪

New music always makes me feel better. I've kind of gone on a downloading spree over the past couple days. Newest acquisitions:

• Rhett Miller, The Believer
• Nellie McKay, Get Away From Me
• Tristan Prettyman, Twenty Three
• G. Love, Lemonade
• The Wreckers, Stand Still, Look Pretty

I haven't listened to the last 2 yet, but the first three are all great, especially Nellie McKay and Tristan Prettyman. Rhett Miller is good, but it's just kind of...average? I don't know. There are a couple of songs that stand out to me, but mostly it's just music.

Alone.

Yesterday I was hit with a big blow to my self-esteem: the realization that I have no friends. It's true, though. My only friend here in Wichita is my dog. But don't get me wrong, because I'm head over heels for the little furball. And I've got hobbies. Namely, watching House and knitting socks and walking Max and learning two languages and blah blah blah. But I'm a nice person, and I've got excellent personal hygiene, so why don't I have any friends? Easy answer: because I've been gone for four years, and I don't know anybody here. And the people I work with fall into three categories: 1) high school kids...I'm definitely not hanging out with them; 2) college kids (and this would include Evan, the closest thing I have to a friend)...their idea of a good time is to get rip roaring drunk...and three months ago, I would've so been down with that...but I honestly just don't have it in me to keep putting myself in bad situations (nor does my body enjoy the abuse); and 3) middle-aged married people...I'm not quite ready to hang out with that set yet, thank you very much.

So what do I do? How do I meet people? How do I make friends? All anybody seems to suggest is "going out"...i.e. going out to bars. I hate bars. I hate the smoke. And I don't drink anymore. Plus, the people who go to bars aren't the kind of people I'm looking for as friends.

I suppose one way to meet people would be to actually go out with one of the creeps who hit on me. I don't want to do that, though. I really don't want to date anyone right now, mostly because I want to be choosier about who I get involved with.

I think it's kind of funny because people keep asking me if I think I can handle two jobs. Of course I can. I might not have quite so much free time to sleep or watch House or learn Italian and Portuguese. My life is lame...at least if I'm working, I'll be getting paid and it won't be quite so obvious that I'm basically alone.

I just finished season 1 of "House"...omg help I'm so bored.

So I'm currently learning 2 languages--Portuguese and Italian. Lately I've been making all of these friends (online) from around the world. I'm learning so much, and I love it. It makes me a little sad, though, because it's a reminder that I'm, ya know, here. But it also gives me a feeling of power over my situation...like maybe I really could leave. Just go somewhere. Anyway, I need money and a passport (if I go abroad, that is...I may just go somewhere else in-country), so it's not something that's going to happen anytime soon. But the more pissed off I get at the situation I've put myself in, the more motivated I am to get out of it.

And for the guys out there, here's some advice:

Situations in Which Not to Hit on Me:

• If you're a dirty old man, even if you don't think you're a dirty old man, please don't hit on me. It's so creepy!! If you're over 35, just stop. Shit, even if you're over 30, you're pushing it.
• If you're high as a kite. I'm not a bag of Doritos, k?
• IF YOU'RE WITH YOUR MOTHER! Seriously. That's just weird.
• IF YOU'RE WITH YOUR KIDS! Seriously. That's just wrong.
• If you're going to hit on me by insulting me. Yeah, you're just not getting anywhere with that one...
• If I'm at work, period. I'm sweaty, I'm gross, and I'm probably only being nice to you because it's my job. Please don't tell me how nice it would be to wake up to the sound of my voice. Please don't ask for my number. Please don't give me those looks. I'm not in the mood, I'm not interested, I'm not available.
  

Thanks For Ruining My Day

Today should've been a great day. I made a new friend who's teaching me Italian. I got to see Evan for the first time in about 10 months. Stratford Hardy came through my line at work.

And then...I had The Customer From Hell. She was awful. She said I grabbed her money out of her hand, and she pretty much threatened to "smack the hell" out of me. She lodged a complaint against me.

I also have a headache and really sore muscles. And my cold is coming back (did it ever go away?).

Ugh, I want to quit. I want to quit sooooo bad.

I ♥ Lush

A while back, I bought a bunch of stuff from Lush. While I love everything I got, my favorite has definitely been the soap. My bar, the Ooh La La bar, is now running out, and I'm very sad about it. Or at least I was, until I ordered more soap yesterday. I bought 4 bars this time, one each of Ooh La La, Alkmaar, Angel's Delight, and Figs & Leaves. Last night I used my Angels on Bare Skin facial cleanser and the Tea Tree Water toner. My skin always feels so soft and smooth after I use that stuff. I'd do it every night, but the cleanser is kind of messy because you have to mix it with water to make a paste. But really, it's worth it.

I was supposed to go driving this morning, but I was exhausted. I still am. I actually slept until 8 today! It's been a while since I've done that. This has been like an actual weekend for me...so weird!! I got off work at 1 on Friday afternoon, I was off yesterday, and I don't have to go in until 7 o'clock tonight.

What to do, what to do...

I have too many DVDs. I forgot to mention that, although I didn't pay for it (yay for the mommy!), When Harry Met Sally was also added to my collection today. I unpacked a ton of DVD cases this afternoon, but I'm still missing 8 cases. The bookcase I've got set up for DVDs is almost full. I've got room for maybe 4 more...and I'm missing 8! And I don't even have my boxed sets on there. I'm not really sure where I'm going to put those. I need another bookcase or a DVD rack or something. Jeez...obsessed much?

I watched about half of Night at the Museum at my dad's house last night, and I finished watching it this afternoon. It's not the best movie I've ever seen, but it was pretty good. Of course, I ♥ Dick Van Dyke, so anything with him is always tops for me! :D

Il Pleut

No more work until Sunday night! Woohoo! AND EVAN'S COMING BACK!!!!

I deposited 2 paychecks today. My account is happy now. I even put money in savings for a change. Crazy. To reward myself for all the hard work (because, ya know, I don't do this nearly often enough), I went to Target with the intention of buying a movie. Well, I ended up buying the first season of House, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (the original one!), and Father of the Bride (the one with Steve Martin). Bad Whitney. But ohhhh so happy.

I actually had kind of a fun day at work today. I learned how to make signs and do receiving. And I got to test scan the produce department! Yeah, fun stuff.

There are so many movies I want to see right now...Knocked Up, Mr. Brooks, Waitress, some indie/foreign films...

Ugh...Make Adulthood Stop...

This has been a long week. Sunday was...busy. Very busy. I barely remember Monday...it seems like it was so long ago. I didn't do much that day, other than take Max for two mile-long walks. And I watched like half of MI:3 before passing out for the night. Yesterday I worked 8 hours at a snail's pace. I finished putting up tags like an hour before my lunch break and spent the rest of the day test scanning in HBA. Ughhhhhhh. No seriously...I thought the day would never end. I worked 8 hours again today, and it wasn't bad. And by that I mean it wasn't slow. Well, I was moving pretty slowly, except for the last hour or two of my shift, because I was freezing. I need to start bringing a jacket or sweater or something because they've got me doing Dairy all the time, and man it's freezing in there. But yeah, the store was just...packed today. And not with customers. Stockers, vendors, people resetting shelves. Blah blah blah. Soooo many people, everybody getting in each other's way. It was hard to do my job.

Anyway, now my mom's pissed at me because my room is still a mess and I still haven't unpacked or done all of my laundry. Well...I feel bad...but not really. I mean seriously...when am I supposed to do this stuff? I was barely home on Sunday. I guess I should've done it Monday. I know I should've done it Monday. Or last Friday or Saturday. But I didn't. And this week...this week is no good. But I guess I have to do it all tomorrow anyway. So much for having a day off to relax.

Tonight I did my exit interview crap for my student loans. I have to start paying them back in mid-November, and the payment's gonna be $190.80 per month. I owe a LOT more than I thought I did, which sucks. So now I'm officially POOR. I was really thinking about quitting Dillons if I got the job at the post office, but now it doesn't look like I'm going to be able to.

Yesterday Was...Sketchy! And Fun.

Yesterday was an interesting day, particularly at work, where it was "Hey Let's Be SAMFs and Hit On Whitney" Day. First some guy who was with his mom tried to get my number, and when I wouldn't give it to him he wrote down my name and the store number, and then he stole my pen. He wouldn't leave until his mom practically dragged him out of the store. THEN there was some old man, in his 70s, with his freaking grandson...I told him good morning, and he (the old man) said, "Oooh, your voice is so soft...I wish I'd woken up to you this morning!" Then he looked up at me and said, "I looked up and was expecting to see a little girl...but you're a sexy mama!!" I'd been helping him unload his cart, but at that point I pretty much ran back around to my register, and I rang up his stuff, turning crimson the whole time. After he paid, he said, "I'm gonna come back and see you again sometime!" SO SKETCH!

After work, I had lunch at The Good Egg with my mom, Debbie, and Sara. Swiss frittata...ham, Swiss cheese, mushrooms, black olives, tomatoes, sour cream...yummy! And a banana whip smoothie. I ♥ breakfast food. I miss Something Brewing. Anyway, we had a ton of fun, sitting around talking about men, sex, marriage, and raising kids. I was pretty much lost. I haven't had much, if any, experience with those subjects. But it was interesting.

After lunch, we went to see Grandma & Grandpa. They're so cute...

Then I came home and pretty much passed out. Which meant I got up before 7 today. Ugh. But I guess it's good, really, because I've gotta be at work at 5 tomorrow, Wednesday, and Friday. But I'm off today, Thursday, and Saturday!! Saturday is the test for the job at the post office. I hope I get that job.

Wheeee!!

So I just got back from driving my Mustang for the first time. My first time behind the wheel of a car in 4 and a half years. And guess what? I'M A GOOD DRIVER!!!! Well, not great, not really even good...but leaps and bounds better than I was in high school.

What a relief.

Bee Happy! Bzzzz.

A week from today, I'm taking the test for the job at the post office. Yay? No, really, I do hope I get this job, even if it means I could be working almost 60 hours a week between the post office and Dillons. Even if it means that I will have become my mother and my father.

I need to stop this at some point. I can't just become them. Not that I don't love them, not that I don't think they're both wonderful people. I do. But I need to be my own person, and I need to...I don't know...let it be okay if they're not happy with what I'm doing. If I move away, or if I never do anything with my degree (of which nobody hesitates to remind me the cost)...as long as I'm happy, ya know? I think my mom understands that, at least sort of. My dad...no, not really. That makes me sad. That people care so much about money and other stupid stuff more than they care about my happiness.

Ugh...I'm feeling so lazy today.

Fridays with Max

People with big dogs should not have small fences. I took Max for a walk/jog this morning, and on our way home from the park I thought we were gonna be mauled by several huge barking beasts. I shit you not, I saw one RUN UP A WALL trying to get over its fence! And it almost did, too. Thank God Max is practically oblivious to other dogs...if he'd started barking back, I'm afraid it would've given those dogs that extra little bit of motivation they needed to jump the hurdles. I know it's because Bullwinkle got attacked on a walk when I was 9, but I'm so paranoid about big stray dogs. Little stray dogs don't scare me much, though. One followed us about halfway through the park today. A little white poodle. She just kept following us, and until she & Max were face-to-face, he absolutely ignored her. I'm glad she eventually got distracted enough to stop following us, though...I was a little worried she'd follow us all the way home, and I wouldn't have had the heart to shut her out.

This morning I finished reading New Moon, finally. It was a good book, not quite as good as Twilight, but still really good. It just took me so long to finish it because I haven't really had much time to read lately...not to mention my room's been such a mess, I've usually got junk all over my bed, so I don't always have a place to read.

Extreme Makeover: Bedroom Edition

So the room is seriously starting to come together. Here's all I've got left to do:

• Put books on the shelves (I'm having to be more choosey than I'd like...I just have too, too many books...and this bookcase isn't as big as I thought, unless I stack my books double-deep...which makes me a little nervous).
• Set up my little bookcase (the one I had in my dorm room) and put all my DVDs on it (which means I also need to find my DVDs and put them all back in their cases...ughhh).
• Put all of my clothes away (which means unpacking all of my clothes, which I still haven't done).
• Unpack everything else I want to put in my room, then put everything else out in the garage.
• Hang shit on the walls (today I took almost everything down).
• Vacuum and put my rug down.
• Clean out my closet (huuuuuuuge project...may not be done until later this summer).

Man...writing all of that out makes me wonder what the hell I've been doing this whole time. But I look around my room, and all of this is really just little stuff compared to what I've done so far. It feels good to be almost done. I'm planning to do several of these things tonight, especially since I don't really have to go to bed early or anything. I'd love to pop in a movie while I work, but my crummy DVD player has decided that playing 2 and half episodes of Kyle XY was more than enough work for one day, and now it's being stupid on me again. Yay for cheap electronics! :-\