T-minus 40 hours...

I really should update this thing more often, but the login process is a pain in the neck.

Anyway...Flavio's coming to visit in less than 2 days. About 40 hours, actually. Emotionally, I'm wavering somewhere between a state of elation and a nervous breakdown. Fortunately, I have a ton of things to do before he gets here, so at least I'll be busy instead of sitting around freaking out.

I've been knitting like crazy lately. In the past week, I've finished the striped baby sweater I started over the summer, plus I knitted a cute cabled sweater vest (modified from the original pattern, which had sleeves). Next I'll be knitting a little cabled cardigan.

Now I'm trying to decide if I should go to bed or stay up & clean. I know that I should go to bed because I have to work tomorrow night. But I'm not really very sleepy, and I have *so much* to do.

Cleaning Break...

Valentine's day was wonderful. I took my mom out on a "date." We saw 27 Dresses and had a late lunch/early dinner at Ted's Montana Grill (one of the few restaurants I really like). Friday was not such a wonderful day, however. Personal and professional problems abound, and I spent a good portion of the night blubbering like a baby. But in my experience, a little sleep cures a lot of problems, and by Saturday morning all was once again set to rights. And now I smell like arancia e cannella (orange and cinnamon), an odd combination which smells surprisingly...perfect.

At the moment, I'm attempting to clean up the mess I've made in the living room over the past several months, because Flavio's coming to visit in 11 days. I'm so excited to see him! I'm also watching Becoming Jane, which seems good, although I haven't been paying a lot of attention to it.

After I finished The Time Traveler's Wife, I was going to read The Fourth Bear, but it was horribly boring. So now I'm reading Fire Bell in the Night, which is good although so far not very compelling. I'm not very far into it yet. It's well written, but the characters aren't that interesting.

You don't always have to hold your Head higher than your Heart

I just finished reading The Time Traveler's Wife. It was so...beautiful. In the way that sadness can be beautiful. Like Eva Moves the Furniture. So heavy and complex. So much love and so much loss and...so much sadness. I think I should've taken more time to read it. Not because I feel like I rushed through it and couldn't understand/appreciate it. Just because, when I read things like that, I need to process them bit by bit. Now it feels like an awkward weight dragging my head down to my heart. That doesn't make any sense. Anyway, the sadness will probably linger for a few days. It's coming at a bad time, too.

My mini-vacation was so relaxing and peaceful. I spent almost the entire 5 days at home, creating a cozy space in my room. Decluttering. Sorting. And we had a couple of lovely, warm, spring-y days. It was all very therapeutic. And then I went back to my job and the weather got crappy again and I've been feeling very insecure and I'm just so frustrated with everything. This is not a good time to be burdened with the heavy sadness of an emotional book.

I just need to cry it out. I've cried twice today already. I'm sure more tears are on the way. I'm not a cry baby or an emotional wreck, but I think most girls would agree when I say that it's such a release to cry. So much more peaceful than yelling. It's got a lovely way of just washing things away. Crying is so final.