Be Mine??

Get your own valentinr

Interrupting Starfish

Life is crazy. Fo' sho'. Dr. Oxner assigned a case TODAY that's due on FRIDAY. wtf? So much for my plan to not put the next case off until the last minute. At least it's a "short" one (as in, we only have to write 3-4 pages instead of 5-10).

Last night I went to work, even though it was my night off. I hung out with Laura & Trey behind the desk. We played gin and told bad jokes. Har har.

It's like 8 degrees outside, but at 2 o'clock I'm meeting Laura and we're gonna walk to Something Brewing so I can get a frappuccino. Yeah...

Ok, that's it.

The Beginning of the End

My first week of classes is over, and it really wasn't too bad. Life, on the other hand, has been very up & down. I've done a great job of alienating people over the past 3 years, so now I've only got one or two friends. I spent a good part of the week freaking out that I might be pregnant. Also, I think I might be catching Laura's cold. Anyway...

I ordered some prints of the photos I took of Max, and I was expecting them to be here Wednesday or Thursday, but they still haven't arrived. I'm not using Winkflash anymore because I had this problem with them all the time. Until now, I haven't had this problem with Snapfish. Although, I'm wondering if it's because the last 2 times I was ordering 8x10s, and maybe those don't get "misplaced" like 4x6s?

I miss Max. I miss watching TV with him curled up in my lap. I miss watching him chase Xena around the backyard. I miss him begging me to hold him. I miss his circus tricks. I miss baking treats for him. I miss snuggling up with him at night. I miss dressing him up in cute little t-shirts, and dancing to "Fergalicious" and telling him to pop it. I miss the way his little tags jingle when he trots through the house. I miss when he jumps up on the sofa to be with me, and the way he just looks at me like, "I know I'm not supposed to be up here, but I love you!" I miss our play fights and the way he nibbles my fingers. I just miss everything about him...

I want to go home.

Springing Forward

Soon Max's picture will be in that frame. The sunflowers are so cheerful-looking, especially in that rose-colored vase (which I bought last night at Target). The sun finally came out today, and it's making me feel a lot better. January is always my lowest month of the year. It's so cold and cloudy, and I'm just grumpy all the time.

Good vs. Bad...a Fight to the Death

Good Things About Today

• I'm completely lost in Cost Accounting, but it seems like everyone is.
• I found a partner for the CA presentation.
• Dr. Scott found my final. THANK GOD!!
• I don't think I have to take notes in Corporate Strategy...like ever. Everything's on PowerPoint, and she prints the slides out for us.
• Professor Rupert is really nice.

Bad Things About Today

• I spent $730.90 on textbooks.
• The bookstore was sold out of the CA book, so I don't really know what I'm going to do until it gets in. I asked Adam if I could borrow his from last year, but he's not sure where it is. How am I supposed to do the homework?
• My books are reeeeeally heavy.
• I have a 5-10 page write up for a case due on Friday in CS. *death*

I know other people have got it way worse than I do, but can my luck turn around just a little bit? Pretty please?

It Just Gets Better & Better...

Just got back from the bookstore. $730.90. My parents are gonna stroke out. And one of my books, the one I actually need more than any of the others, is sold out. I had to special order it, and the lady at the bookstore told me it should "hopefully" be here by the end of the week. I've already asked one of my friends who took it last year if I can borrow his book until I get mine, but he wasn't sure if he still has it...so please cross your fingers that he does! It'd be nice to run into a little bit of good luck this semester.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!!!! Everything going on right now just makes me want to screeeeeeeeeeeeam. And throw things. And hit people.

B.Positive

I'm not really done wallowing in self-pity over how much I think my life sucks right now, but I am at least done with it for tonight. Today I downloaded John Legend's "Once Again" album. It's fantastic! I unpacked all of my stuff and decluttered my desk, which included putting most of my picture frames in the closet. Now the only photos on my desk are one of my mom, one of Tyler & Xena, and a frame reserved for a picture of Max as soon as it gets here (hopefully by the end of the week). I also spent the afternoon hanging out with Laura and learning how to play Guitar Hero. Then we went out for ice cream. Ice cream makes a lot of things better.

Conversation Hearts are delicious.

Conspiracy Theory

Wichita got its first snow of the season--and it was a big one--during the 2 weeks between Thanksgiving and the end of finals. It had pretty much all melted by the time I got back home. I was home for 6 weeks, and the most snow I saw was a few flurries and a bunch of ice. Now--a mere 24 hours after returning to school--my hometown has been blanketed in half a foot of snow. I think it's a conspiracy to make sure I don't get to enjoy snow at all this year.

And the worst part? I'm missing out on seeing Max play in the snow.

Insomnia

I can't sleep. My mom hit the road about 30 minutes ago, hoping to beat the latest bout of ice & snow. I hope she makes it home safely...yesterday she dozed off while driving and veered off into the oncoming lane...luckily there weren't any cars coming, and the construction cones she hit woke her up.

I guess since I can't sleep, I might as well write about the past 6 weeks. The short version: I got Max the day I came home, but it was all downhill from there. I spent my first 3 weeks at home working, usually going in sometime between 4 and 7 in the morning. While I was working, I spent a lot of time at my dad's house (not fun). During my first week at home, my mom got really sick, so when I wasn't working I was taking care of her. During my second week at home, I got really sick. It seemed like it took me forever to get well. I was even sick on Christmas. Also while I was sick, I got a call from Dr. Scott telling me that he never received my International Economics final and rework (which I spent almost $15 to mail). He gave me an incomplete in the class and said that if he couldn't track it down (I've got proof that it was delivered, but unfortunately I was too stupid to make copies of the test before I mailed it), I'd have to redo it. I still have an incomplete, and I haven't heard from him, so I'm guessing that I'll probably have to redo it... Okay, so after I got well and quit my job, I had a week at home to get ready for Michael's visit. That week wasn't so bad...I mostly spent a lot of time with Max. Then Michael came to visit, and it didn't go well at all. He was supposed to stay for a week, but ended up only staying for 48 hours. We broke up. I spent the rest of that week not doing much of anything, other than stressing out about the weather situation. The roads ended up being too bad to travel last weekend, so I didn't get to come back to school until this weekend. So I missed an entire week of classes. And, unfortunately, I got here after the bookstore closed, so I can't go buy my books until Monday morning. So I can't start on any of that make up work until next freaking week.

And as bad as my break was, I'm homesick already. I miss Max so much, and I'm worried about what he's going to think when my mom comes home without me.

P.S. I forgot to mention all of the weird dreams I had over the break: my mom died suddenly, I found a lump in my breast, and I got pregnant. Hopefully these dreams won't be coming true.

My Version of a Drinking Song

Being back at school is weird. I don't feel like I changed over the break or anything, but I don't really feel like I fit right back in where I left off. It seems like there's always a little period of adjustment when I change habitats.

I drank a shot of vodka over the course of about 2 hours. Obviously, I don't feel anything. Except maybe sad and a little slow.

I just downloaded a couple of songs by 2 of my favorite artsits, one from Lily Allen and one from Jack Johnson.

Being a week behind stinks. And I miss Max.

Introducing Maximus

I got a dog. It was over a month ago, like December 9th or whatever day I went home. He's a 4-year old miniature schnauzer. His previous owner had named him Frank, but I thought that was a horrible name for such a sweet little dog. So I named him Maximus. My little Max was groomed a couple weeks after this picture was taken, so now he actually looks like a schnauzer. I miss his long curls, but not the smell that accompanied them. My baby boy loves to dress up in cute little t-shirts (he has 4 of them to choose from!), and his favorite song is "Fergalicious" (we dance whenever the video comes on VH1). As silly as it sounds, I love him more than anything. I already miss the sound of his collar jingling as he runs around the house and his warm little body curling up in my lap while I watch TV. It's the biggest downside of being back at school.

So Tired...

I've been up for about 20 hours. I had completely & totally planned to go to bed by midnight tonight, but life had other plans. Although most people left by 9, the party didn't really wind down until after midnight, by which point I was a little bit drunk. I ended up walking around campus with Laura, Shawn, and Andrew for a while, then we came back here & tried to watch a movie. Around 2, everyone was gone. I could've gone to bed for a few hours...except that I still hadn't packed, and the common room was a huge mess. Well, it's after 3 now, and the common room is clean and all of my dishes are washed. My dad should be here in about 5 hours. I probably only have 1-2 hours of work to do, but then I'll need to spend an hour getting ready. I guess I'll pass the rest of the time watching TV or something.

On the one hand, staying up this late is really stupid. On the other hand, if I sleep the whole time, the car ride will go by reeeeeeally fast, and I won't have to really talk to my dad & stepmom. Let's just cross our fingers that they won't want to do any kind of shopping in the morning, because I figure I need to make it home by 4:30 if I want to go to the Humane Society to get a dog.

Oh, and the party was a huuuuuuuuge success. There wasn't really much left over...just little bits of stuff, which I ended up throwing away. The peanut brittle didn't turn out, but I also made white chocolate-covered pretzels sprinkled with red & green sugar, muddy buddies (a.k.a. puppy chow), and Chex mix. And then I bought chips & dip, candy canes, and soda at Wal-Mart. And we heated up the rest of the apple cider Ariane bought last weekend. Anyway, I think pretty much everyone had a good time. I know I did. :)

OMG STRESS...and lots of cursing

I'm so effing steamed right now! I've got a final tomorrow morning, and I didn't get to leave work until about 10 minutes after my shift ended. Now, I'm gonna wind up getting less than 6 hours of sleep before a motherfucking final. And one of my "friends" was one of the people who kept us there so goddamn late. I mean, come on people...the excuse that you "lost track of time" doesn't fly with me. When a student worker comes by and says that we're closing in 10 minutes, you should FUCKING PACK UP YOUR STUFF AND GET THE FUCK OUT! Don't keep studying! You know, WE don't get to leave until YOU leave. There are MANY other places you can study. Have a little consideration for your fellow students who ALSO have finals. You're not the only person on the goddamn planet who has a final tomorrow. You're not the only person who needs to pass her classes.

Also...STOP COMPLAINING about doing poorly on the 15 different assignments you have for a class. If you've had that many chances to do well and you're STILL failing, FUCK YOU. International Economics isn't just the hardest class I've ever taken...it's arguably the hardest class at this school. Several professors have looked at Dr. Scott's tests and said that they look like GRADUATE-LEVEL, OPEN-BOOK tests. Normally, kids in IE would have three grades. But does my class? No, because we all failed the first test. So instead of curving it like a DECENT HUMAN BEING, and probably ALL OF THE OTHER PROFESSORS AT HENDRIX, Dr. Scott just fucking throws it out. So then you're down to TWO MOTHERFUCKING GRADES. And I just happened to be lucky enough to get a fucking 47% on the next exam. I've been working on the corrections for the past THREE GODDAMN DAYS, and I'm still only TWO THIRDS through it. And even though I'm pretty much KILLING MYSELF to get it done, the highest I can end up with on that test is a 72 MOTHERFUCKING PERCENT! And let's not talk about our "take-home final"...I've barely even had a chance to look at it yet. In theory, I'm supposed to turn in both of these things tomorrow. And I would FUCKING LOVE to do that! Do you honestly think I want to take this shit home with me? GOD NO! I WANT TO BE DONE WITH IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW! But I just don't have the time.

Sorry about all of the anger...I just really needed to get it all out before going to bed, or else it was going to keep me up all night.

Maybe He'll Be Mine??

The Humane Society added new puppies to their website this afternoon. I hope this little guy is still there when I go on Saturday:


He's a 4-year old poodle mix named Diogy (if I can get him to go by a different name, I'm definitely changing it). I'm not so attached to this one as I was to the CKCS...I just don't have the emotional capacity for that...but I do love his little face, and the website said that he's good on a leash and under 20 lbs, which is pretty much perfect for me because I'm planning to take my pup for lots of walks. He also looks less prissy than the CKCS, so he'll be a better playmate for Xena and Harley. Anyway, crossing fingers again...

The Upside

Alright, so I'm not getting the CKCS puppy... Apparently, he was a lost dog, and his owners reclaimed him this morning. Granted, I don't know the situation, but I feel that dogs run away because they're not happy or because their owners are irresponsible. So on the one hand, I know I should be happy that these people have their dog back, but at the same time I can't help but feel like maybe they don't really deserve him. Anyway...my mom said that we'd go back to the Humane Society when I get home Saturday afternoon, and if I fall in love with another puppy I can get it. She also said she'd ask her friend Shonda about the pug she's getting and how much it costs. So...even though I didn't end up getting that puppy, I might still get a puppy.

I've been working on the corrections to that econ test I failed, and it's going soooooo slooooooooowly. I emailed Dr. Scott to see if I could just take the final home with me (it's a take-home), do it over the weekend, and mail it to him next week. Thank God he said yes... I'm about 2/3rds done with the rework of the last exam, plus I've still gotta study for my Spanish final (which is tomorrow morning), pack, clean my room, and make all that crap for the party tomorrow night. Aaaaaaagh.

Dear God,

I think you're a big ol' meanie. It wasn't just pure dumb luck that I happened to go to the Humane Society's website yesterday. It wasn't just a coincidence that they happened to have a picture of the most beautiful dog in the world, the exact dog I've been wanting for years. No, it was fate. It was absolutely meant to be. You wanted me to see that dog. You wanted me to fall in love with his big brown eyes and the rust-colored freckles on his snout. You wanted me to waste hours trying to come up with the perfect name. You wanted me to get really, really excited.

Just so you could take it all away...

Puppy Love

Omigod, okay, so, I just checked the Humane Society's website, and they updated it this morning, and he's still there!! I called my mom's cell phone and left her a message letting her know. So hopefully she'll go this afternoon...

I've decided to call him Hamlet. Or Gus.

edit:
I just talked to my mom, and I'm about 99.9% sure that she's gonna go to the Humane Society today. So as long as he doesn't get adopted in the next few hours...he's mine!! *still crossing fingers*

Update, yo!

Well, I talked to my mom again, and I made my case for little Lancelot...and at first she said we'd go to the Humane Society when I get home, and if he's still there, I can have him. But then I told her that since I won't get home until late Saturday afternoon, and since they're probably closed on Sunday (and then she told me they're also closed on Monday), we wouldn't be able to go until Tuesday. And by Tuesday, I'm sure he'll be gone, if he's not gone already (although as of yesterday, when their website was last updated, he was still there). So she said..."I'll think about it." Now, in normal parentspeak, that means no. But coming from my mom, it usually means yes. Sooooo...I'm trying not to get my hopes up, because even if she decides to get him and goes to the Humane Society tomorrow, he could already be gone...but it's at least looking better for me. I even bought him a little stuffed octopus at Target tonight (and if I don't get him, I'll just give the toy to Xena or Harley).

Anyway, I bought ornaments tonight. I got a Luke Skywalker & Yoda ornament for Michael, a Little Mermaid ornament for Ariane, a dark red glass heart wrapped with gold musical bars for Abby (for the Secret Santa thing), a set of 4 blue glittery snowflakes, and a mouth-blown glass "two peas in a pod" ornament for myself (well, and Michael...I figured we could start a tradition of getting a couples ornament every year).

I haven't been so productive today. I'm hoping to get a good bit of my economics thing done at work tonight. I'm a little stuck on one problem right now, but if I still have that problem tonight then I'll just skip it or start working on the take-home final.

I think I just died a little...

This little guy just stole my heart:


I hate this... Okay, so here's a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel purebred, available for adoption at the Kansas Humane Society. This is the kind of dog I've been wanting for the past like 5 years, ever since our cocker spaniel died. It's the kind of dog I knew I'd never have because I'd only be able to get it from a breeder, and it would cost $1000+. But here's one...at the Humane Society...which only costs like 120 bucks. But will my mom get it for me? No. Why? Because I won't be home until Saturday, and even when I do come home I'm going to be working, and she doesn't have the time to take care of a dog. This is such bullshit! Back when we had Brutus, she STILL let Tyler get Xena. So we had 2 freaking rottweilers at once. And she knew Tyler wouldn't take care of them. Who did? Who trained Xena? Oh, that's right, I did. I mean, if Tyler had seen this dog at the Humane Society, fallen in love with it, and called Mom up to ask if he could get it...she would crumble like a motherfuckin' cookie and say yes. But for me...not so much.

I mean, I knew it was a long shot to even ask...but still... Heart=broken.

Shit I Gots to Do

Schedule for the rest of the week:

Tuesday (today):

• Laundry
• Clean room
  
• Start rework of econ test
• Knit

Wednesday:

• Pack
• Shop
• Change schedule for next semester
  
• Finish rework of econ test

Thursday:

• Make pretzels, peanut brittle
• Start econ final
• Study for Spanish final

Friday:

• Make Chex mix, muddy buddies
• Finish & turn in econ final
  
• Take Spanish final
• Get everything ready for party

Yeah...that's a lot. And here's other stuff I have to do at some point during the next four days:

• Make a list of everything I can't forget to take home (stereo, ornaments, camera charger, etc.)
• Make a couple of playlists
• Update my iPod (and charge it)
• Blah blah blahhhhhhhhhh