Alone.

Yesterday I was hit with a big blow to my self-esteem: the realization that I have no friends. It's true, though. My only friend here in Wichita is my dog. But don't get me wrong, because I'm head over heels for the little furball. And I've got hobbies. Namely, watching House and knitting socks and walking Max and learning two languages and blah blah blah. But I'm a nice person, and I've got excellent personal hygiene, so why don't I have any friends? Easy answer: because I've been gone for four years, and I don't know anybody here. And the people I work with fall into three categories: 1) high school kids...I'm definitely not hanging out with them; 2) college kids (and this would include Evan, the closest thing I have to a friend)...their idea of a good time is to get rip roaring drunk...and three months ago, I would've so been down with that...but I honestly just don't have it in me to keep putting myself in bad situations (nor does my body enjoy the abuse); and 3) middle-aged married people...I'm not quite ready to hang out with that set yet, thank you very much.

So what do I do? How do I meet people? How do I make friends? All anybody seems to suggest is "going out"...i.e. going out to bars. I hate bars. I hate the smoke. And I don't drink anymore. Plus, the people who go to bars aren't the kind of people I'm looking for as friends.

I suppose one way to meet people would be to actually go out with one of the creeps who hit on me. I don't want to do that, though. I really don't want to date anyone right now, mostly because I want to be choosier about who I get involved with.

I think it's kind of funny because people keep asking me if I think I can handle two jobs. Of course I can. I might not have quite so much free time to sleep or watch House or learn Italian and Portuguese. My life is lame...at least if I'm working, I'll be getting paid and it won't be quite so obvious that I'm basically alone.