Well, maybe I'm not that emo yet. But my life is certainly not "Everything Magically Comes Together All At Once!" You would think I'd know this by now and therefore wouldn't get my hopes up so high when exciting things appear to be in the works for me. And yet...
Okay kids, story time! Once upon a time there was this beautiful princess. Er, no, not really. She was really just average. But from an early age, she displayed loads of promise and potential, particularly in such academic novelties as the three R's. Disappointingly, although perhaps not surprisingly, this wunderkind peaked in high school. Her post-secondary "education" existed primarily in the realms of sex, drugs (of the fermented persuasion), and knitting circles, with occasional forays into the classroom. Perhaps with an eye to the future, though perhaps only with an eye to placating her disapproving father, she managed to scrape by with a degree in the most pragmatic (and, incidentally, the most boring) subject she could find: accounting. After graduation (which she did not attend, under the guise of disliking ceremonies...though the truth is something closer to a desire not to see exactly how far she'd fallen in four short years), she balked at the idea of becoming an accountant. Her? A princess? Crunching numbers all day? Pshaw! So she did what any princess faced with reality would do: delayed it a little while by finding a Small Pond where she could still be a Big Fish. She returned to her horrible job as a punching bag for grumpy people, where she was paid in beans and disapproving glares. She prayed for a prince or a miracle to come and rescue her from this horrible hell she had made for herself. Then one day--one beautiful, miraculous day--her prayers were answered! She got an interview for a job she desperately wanted, one for which they only required an ordinary dutchess. And she...she was a princess...a very special princess! She felt sure they would hire her, especially after the interview went so well. And she would finally be able to move into her own castle! Compounding her good fortune and sense of impending glory, the princess met a wonderful prince who could see how truly beautiful she was. However, our princess must have been born under a very unlucky star indeed, for only a few short days later it was all ripped away. The job was given to an ordinary dutchess, and her beautiful prince, upon receiving her kisses, turned into a frog. (For the record, our princess would like to point out that it is much more likely for princes to turn into frogs upon being kissed than the way it goes down in the traditional tale.)
So there you have it. A fairytale in reverse.
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