My Lame Last Night

Yesterday was awful. Cold and gray. I cried a lot, and over the stupidest things. I put 13 hours into studying for that test, and I still didn't feel completely ready for it. Now I know what test anxiety feels like...it was horrible. I'm sure I did just fine, but at the time I was absolutely freaking out. I was exhausted yesterday, and I should've gone straight to bed after the test, but I didn't. I came back to my room and read for a while. Then Andrew called and asked if I wanted to go to the liquor store with him, so I did. I bought a bottle of super cheap sangria just because it was in a super-'70s bottle and also a bottle of blackberry wine. I had dinner alone and started drinking alone. It was pretty pathetic...I cried... Since I was in a crying mood, I decided to watch House of Sand and Fog, and I'm not gonna lie...in the movie when Kathy was attempting suicide, I was thinking she had the right idea... I do that a lot, though. I don't think I'd ever actually go through with it, but you might be surprised how often I think about it. Anyway, I fell asleep before the movie ended (and missed my favorite part). I think I slept for about 2 hours. I watched Numbers and drank some more sangria (this time with Ariane, who was drinking apple Puckers from a flask) and got drunk again. I wasn't really sad anymore when I woke up from my nap, though. I thought Andrew & I were gonna hang out when he got back from seeing some movie with Robin & Shawn, but when he called he was just like, "okay, I'll see ya later." And he wasn't the only one who said that to me last night. Patrick was the first one I called, but he said no like always. And Laura had to work until 11, at which point she went to hang out with her brother. So I read until about 1, and then I went to bed.

Last night was really lame. I'm going to be so ridiculously busy for the next week and a half, and I took one night off. One night. And I get ditched by everyone. Thanks, guys.

Anyway...no more whining. Time to take a shower & go to the library. Hopefully we'll get a lot done this afternoon. And I really need to do laundry sometime today.